Have you ever felt envious of something you’ve seen on socials? Omgosh! That girl’s makeup is flawless. Her body-wow! Look how many followers she has. How does she do it? It’s probably because she’s pretty and has an awesome personality. Everyone loves her. I could NEVER make something like that happen.
Any of that sound familiar?
Don’t wory! It’s okay. Because I am not perfect either! I do my fair share of comparing myself. Especially when I have business goals of hitting so many followers or likes or whatever the case may be. Sometimes I struggle with it just like the rest of the world, but I have realized it’s not worth it. It hasn’t helped me find freedom or build a vision for my life. Nor has it helped actually helpedgrow my following! (it hasn’t helped my personal life much either.)
It can be like poison and truthfully it’s the kind of poison you don’t want to drink! Especially if you’re searching for your own vision and peace within yourself. And I am gonna give you some tips on how you can beat the comparison game too! But first let’s get into some real talk.
So let’s just put this out there now. Social media is just like Hollywood but we all get to play the part of reality TV stars. I remember growing up being told that the things you see on TV/ movies are not necessarily real. It is virtually the same concept for social media. What you see, for the most part, is not what you get. Don’t get me wrong this doesn’t apply to EVERY single profile/person. It is absolutely possible to make a genuine connection with someone through social media. You absolutely can but that is different than the comparisons that are happening in your head. Social media is like the checkout stands at the grocery [store]. Everyone on the magazines are photoshopped and perfect! I think it’s great that we have these types of capabilities but it gives off the wrong impression on what is “sexy” or what “beautiful” is. And the idea is to make you feel like you’re in lack of these things because you don’t look this way. It’s the same translations to social media. Don’t believe it’s like that? Which filter did you use on Instagram for your last post? What about SnapChat? Why did you use them? (You know what my answer usually is? Because I don’t have makeup on. I don’t need to with certain filters.)
Or how many times did you pose for that perfect selfie? And still edit the pic? What about the video you posted when you were all out with your friends? Were you genuinely doing what you were doing when you posted the video? I am not sure how many times people, myself included, have done something specifically for the social media posts.
Just a couple of months ago I was out celebrating a birthday and a girl was posting how much fun she was having on social media but complaining to us how bored she was in person. (Seriously! My mind was blown!)
What about the perfect couples? Ever make you wish you were in a relationship or had a different one based on the perfect pictures at the beach with their perfect kids getting along? So here’s the truth no one’s life is like that 100 percent of the time. No one posts boring crap on social media. (AKA it’s not share worthy). So the other harsh truth about this is the grass is not always greener on the other side. Most people on social media are doing the same thing as you. Wishing they were someone else that has a “perfect life”.
Now we have truth out there let’s talk about some feelings associated with comparing yourself to social media.
So we all know certain type of feelings that we might get while the comparisons are in action! So let’s just go over them. Just to make you even more aware of the feelings. Not to call you out but just to help you be aware.
- Questioning-as in your current situation
There are good feelings associated with social media-at least there can be. Please be aware of that. This is not to say that’s not possible. It is possible. These feelings above are usually negative and trap your mindset into negativity which is really not what you want. That’s is why I listed them. For awareness.
If you truly want freedom you want opposite feelings and the first step to getting them is being aware. So if you start to feel these things you will realize you’re comparing yourself and you might want to combat some of those feelings before it gets too bad. And let’s get into that fun.
How to Combat the Comparisons
I am going to provide some tips and recommendations to help you with you this.
- List 3 things you’re grateful for. You can say this in your head, aloud, or write it down. Part of the reason we compare ourselves to other people is because we want to be where they are. But there are people that pray or wish to have the things you have. If you have a hard time thinking of 3 things- start simple. Like waking up in the morning, breathing, and being able to walk. This might sound crazy but it’s something that most of us take for granted. (I am just as guilty as the next person. Sometimes I don’t realize some of these things until I run past someone in a wheelchair. REALITY CHECK-Angela!)
- List 3 things that are amazing about you! You can say this in your head, aloud, or write it down. But part of the reasons for comparing yourself is because you think the other person has all your qualities or better qualities. THAT’S NOT TRUE! You might actually be better at something. So remind yourself that you are just as amazing! I know you are!
- List 3 things that make you different. Again, you can do this in your head, aloud, or write it down. Being unique is exactly why you are the way that you are. Celebrating those differences is vital to a free life. It’s especially vital to having peace within in yourself. It truly makes you love yourself. Because no matter what you might think or see we are all different in our own way. That's why I believe that we are uniquely beautiful.
- Remind yourself the things that you have overcome. Everyone’s life experiences are different. Something you have overcome may not be possible for the next person. Just because things have been handed differently to you, doesn’t mean you aren’t mentally strong or capable of the things you want to be. It’s just a matter of work and time. So remind yourself you do have success is in life. You do have happiness in life. Look at ALL the things you have overcome!
- Talk to your friends about it. Chances are they know exactly what you are talking about. And it will probably make them feel better that someone is finally talking about it! There is nothing wrong with the way you feel! But it may not be healthy for you and fixing that will certainly help make you feel better and happier. So go chat with friends. Make a night out of it.
- Remind yourself that not everything you see is real. Just like I mentioned before there are so many reasons why what you are seeing is not as it seems. Not everything that glitters is gold! Not every perfect pose is actually perfect!
- So sometimes our reactions or judgments on social media are because we truly desire a life like that. If that is something you truly desire or want in your life then join em! Just a word of caution though, most of the time you are looking at the end result. You are not looking at the whole story. Some of this will require hard work. That’s completely up to you.
- You can fill your feed full of positivity. You can do this by following certain people and pages. That way you are only seeing certain things. If the comparison is bad you might want to consider deleting certain people. If that’s what it takes to make it stop and feel better about how you feel about yourself than nothing else matters. LIL hint: It helps change your mindset.
- So if none of these work you might want to take some time away from social media. Yep! I know that might sound crazy but it’s actually pretty helpful and can lead to turning those negative feelings around. This will help you breathe and release some of the saddens you are feeling! It’s just a couple of days. You can do it!
Tying It Together
Remember how wonderful you are. Remember that no matter what you see on social media or the media you are perfectly who you are. You are beautiful and one of a kind. And truthfully you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone let alone social media. But I know things are harder done than said. So remember to be grateful for your amazing life you may not always get the next day. And remember that the grass is not greener on the other side! And remember that you are seeing the end results of work. Try to keep in mind your journey and what you have done. Because not everyone has done what you have! Which makes you just as successful! But there’s nothing wrong with growing and wanting to have freedom and peace within yourself.
And the best way to do that is to stop comparing yourself and start loving yourself right here, right now.
Do something about the social media comparison now. Pick one of these tips and implement it in your life today. Even if it’s listing how amazing you are. And a little tip: get a journal and write those lists down so you can look back on them. It will make this comparison stuff that much easier. (Want more on journaling? Click here.)
And remember to share your progress! Use the #asfreeasyousee. I would love to see and hear all about it! And if you think this can benefit someone feel free to share the love. 😊