AsFreeAsYouSee.com (AFAYS) is a virtual center with the mission of empowering, inspiring, and supporting women to let go of their past and beautifully transform into the present.
AFAYS believes transformation is possible and now is the time.
Sometimes transformation is hard and one great rollercoaster of a journey.
Ever felt like any of these…
No matter how much you achieve, there is still something missing?
No matter how much you might seem like you have “it” all together, on the inside you’re screaming save me?
You tell yourself destructive things?
You’ve buried all your emotions from the past in fear you might feel the exact same pain today?
You have uncontrollable anger and outburst towards people and situations? And you can’t explain why? And if you can explain why, you’re pretty sure it’s just a cover?
You can’t seem to let go of the past and have a hard time forgiving people and yourself?
You can’t look at yourself in the mirror without saying anything negative?
You make excuses about why you haven’t taken care of yourself in a while?
Depression and anxiety are immediate go to feelings?
You want to make positive changes and have no idea what to do?
You’re sick of the drama?
You’re sick of not feeling like you’re enough?
You’re sick of feeling like you don’t know who you are anymore?
You’re sick of the self-sabotage?
You’re sick of not being who you truly are?
You’re sick of not being able to speak about your past?
All you want is peace and freedom within yourself but what does that even mean? Is that possible?
If you have felt this way, it’s okay. You’re not alone.
The reality is…
Being a woman with a tough past that still lingers over everything is hard to deal with. Most of the time you hate yourself for allowing those past behaviors and choices, but you don’t know how to make lasting change happen. Even though there is so much pain from the past the good moments were your best moments. Although you might not live that way anymore or do some of those things regularly anymore the numb autopilot feeling is old and causes more downs than ups. It's like no matter what you do to try to change nothing ever truly happens. Because you're still looking for "it."
The journey of change isn’t quite so beautiful as some like to portray that it is. It’s a battle that causes a lot of questions, emotions, uncertainty, a lot of kicking our feet, stomping the ground and screaming at the top of our lungs wishing you didn’t decide to do this in the first place.
But the benefits of the other side of transformation are truly amazing and make all the stomping and screaming worth it. You learn your triggers, and why they exist, you learn to love and accept yourself, you understand and honor others more, you live at peace with yourself, decisions, mistakes, your past, and your present. You enjoy fun again, and you really learn to start putting yourself first.
This is how AsFreeAsYouSee.com can help reach that transformation…
Videos: On IGTV- topics on recovery from childhood sexual abuse, triggers, self-love, etc. and any questions you might need answered on your journey of transformation.
Blogs: Published regularly with personal stories on struggles, how you too can keep going, hacks, and how-tos on an array of topics.
Masterclasses: Coming soon!
Workbooks: To help you dive deeper and get more honest with yourself.
E-books: To provide in-depth information on truly making changes.
Products: Journals, Soul Awakening Journal prompts and more
Courses: Coming soon! Topics include: Recovery from Childhood sexual abuse, triggers, self-love and more
In the midst of 2015, to anyone on the outside, I was successful. I had just earned my 3rd promotion, within 3 years, at a local hospital, bought a house, and was about to finish my degree.
But I was miserable. I was in emotional, mental, and spiritual turmoil. I couldn't sustain a stable, healthy relationship with myself let alone others.
The rock bottom…
I had been slowly moving into a depression that I was Oh so familiar with. This time it was terribly different. Everything from my past was being brought to the surface even though I thought I had moved on. I was attempting to hide my problems with drinking and partying which it only made it worse. By that time I had been working on almost a lifetime of self-destructive behaviors and being around people that just influenced it, thinking my emotions, anger, and desperate- for- attention- attitude was a direct connection to the grieving process. (I had lost my step-father in 2011.) Little did I know, at the time, the problems started way, way before that. Everything was finally coming to the surface as I was hitting rock bottom. I was an autopilot zombie, and if I hadn't lost my last house key, I am not sure much would have changed.
Finally, after losing the key and an “alter ego” weekend I knew one of two things. One- I was going to put myself into a situation I wasn’t going to be able to get out of and get killed. Two- I was going to kill myself. I knew something had to change.
The beginning of everything…
I did start changing. I wrote in a journal about everything that was making me upset, angry, sad and so on. I had learned to move past the tragic death of my step-father, repaired and built beautifully genuine relationships with friends and family. I believed I was making progress, but later I learned it was the only beginning.
But in 2017, I found myself in a familiar situation; I thought I would never do again. I thought I healed it. I thought I healed because I finally remembered, and spoke about it to one person. I had been sexually abused as a child and top of all the sexual abuse I endured as an adult. I thought by saying it aloud, it changed everything. Then I met someone and found myself in a very familiar situation where I was afraid to say no.
Fast forward to a few months later, I was pregnant, single and having terrible flashbacks and memories. I knew, the healing that I thought took place, was only the beginning.
The beautiful transformation…
Finally, the real healing began. I worked with a spiritual shaman and started working with my Gene Keys and Human Design. I also started therapy and really started to heal my shame and isolation. I began to break down my own walls. My own destruction that I had built over the years. I got down and dirty with myself. Brutally honest. So honest, some days I wish I could stop. But I kept marching. Now, here we are. With yet another transformation of myself. The real me. The authentic me. I live a life more at peace with myself, letting go of a shame co-dependency, cutting ties with isolation, rebuilding conditioned behaviors from the ground up, trusting myself and others. Truly healing to my core- yes, with that child self that was so damaged she almost stayed hidden.
Because of this change, AsFreeAsYouSee.com is reborn just like me. Transformed into service of helping women truly heal, truly recover from sexual abuse, triggers, isolation, shame, and anything and everything else that comes with having a devastating past.
This has become my mission. Because of my suffering, I discovered my purpose: To help women recover and heal from sexual abuse. To help women let go of the past and beautifully transform into the present.